I know, I know. I’ve been neglecting the blog so much this year so far. I had big plans to write more regularly this year, but life had other ideas.
This year has felt chaotic for me and it’s been hard finding a good rhythm with everything I’d like to do. Between wedding planning, a big trip to plan, trying to sort out marriage visas, a new job, school work, a side gig, still recovering financially from last year’s job loss, and not feeling like my best self-my brain has felt maxed out.
So although I’ve had posts in mind and often wanted to sit down and create a new blog post, I often just shut down at the end of the day instead of using anymore of that mental space.
*I apologize if this doesn’t look as pretty as my usual posts. I don’t have as many options on the phone app!*
Wedding planning honestly hasn’t been all that stressful, it’s more getting my fiance to complete his tasks on time 😂 The visa was the biggest struggle, but it wasn’t the process itself. It was reaching someone in the US offices who could help with a random issue we had. If I’d been able to reach someone right away, I could have resolved my problem with more time to spare. Instead, I waited around a month and a half for an answer, couldn’t get my Biometrics scheduled until six days out, and had to mail off my passport and hope for the best.
Thankfully, I was finally able to reach someone who was willing to put in extra work to try to help me. They made an exception to get my visa processed quickly and I only had to delay my trip by a day. Any longer than that, I would have likely had to cancel the portion of the trip I’ve had planned since 2019. I’m so thankful for that person and they restored my faith in humanity.
After my seasonal role ended in February, I was very worried about finding something before my big trip. Who was going to hire me when in two and a half months, I was going on a month long vacation?
After a million interviews (I dread them and always feel like I’m so bad at them), several bites, and no offers, I felt incredibly discouraged.
I was tired of feeling like Chris had to pick up my slack, like I was stressing him out, worrying that it would affect my trip/wedding/reception, and unable to truly enjoy all the free time I had to use it in a productive way.
Finally, I got a job offer! It was with a remote company (which was what I wanted after working remotely for almost 3 years). It seemed like it would be a fun and challenging role, but once I informed them of my trip… the job offer was rescinded.
I didn’t want to put anyone in a tight place, so I told them before being onboarded because I thought transparency was important. I was upset when it didn’t work out. Back to the interview grind…
In March, I applied for an in-person job near my house, even though I wasn’t sure how I’d handle an office environment again. It was for the type of work I initially considered when graduating college, even though I had no work experience in the role so wasn’t sure if I would be considered.
I ended up landing the interview and started the job the same week! I was transparent about my trip and they said they’d make it work. The stars aligned because the previous person in the role was leaving quickly and they wanted someone in to start training.
It’s been an adjustment going to the office again, but my commute is less than 5 minutes so I can’t really complain. It’s nice being in a new line of work and sharing an office with only one other person. I stay busy, so the days always go fast. It only took me 7 years to get a job within my degree 😂
Not My Best Self
This past year, I haven’t been feeling like my best self. I’ve been proud of myself for being adaptable throughout everything, starting school back up, and always continuing to try no matter how discouraging things seem.
On the other hand, my body image and self esteem has taken a bit of a nose dive. With all the life changes, I put on some of the weight I originally lost and struggled getting back into a consistent routine. With all the stress, I was eating a lot more again too.
I feel like I was finally getting a semblance of a routine back, but when I got an in-person job again, things backslid. After having more freedom to workout when I felt like it, it was harder to find a good time during the day.
I tried waking up earlier, but found myself hitting snooze or waking up but scrolling on my phone too long. After work I was mentally drained, but still often had school work, articles to write, and chores to do.
I haven’t felt very comfortable and confident in my own skin after the job loss last year, and the bit of extra weight added to those feelings, especially with the wedding coming up.
I know Chris isn’t bothered by any of it, but I don’t want to look back on pictures of our wedding and being preoccupied or upset with how I look, so I’ve been disappointed I didn’t make the progress I was hoping to.
I know eventually, though, I’ll get back into a routine again. I’ve been making slow progress again, so I know I just need to stick with it. Who knows, maybe all the hiking on my trip will work in my favor!
Now, I’m on the first leg of my travels for the trip I’ve been planning for years! I’m so excited for my first solo travel experience and then meeting up with Chris to travel together and get hitched later on!
(I may or may not still need to write my vows)
I planned this trip at another low point in time, after something I read planted the seed of the idea in my head a year before. A seed that grew into something that I knew I needed to do .
So here’s to adventure, as I head off with my luggage ten pounds too heavy, too many layers, and ready to explore ❤️
Tune in to my Instagram for travel pictures. I’ll try not to be a stranger here anymore this year.